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567 Park Ave, Suite 203

Scotch Plains, NJ 07076

Addictive Behaviors / Codependency Issues

Any activity, substance, object, or behavior that becomes the major focus of a person’s life to the exclusion of other activities or has begun to harm the individual whether it be physically, mentally or socially is considered an addictive behavior. A person can become addicted to anything whether it be shopping, surfing the internet, food, alcohol, drugs, compulsive gambling, sex, work, running, or even another person. Most of us have at one time or another been “hopelessly devoted” to someone or have experienced some kind of obsessive attraction. Most of us also know what it feels like to believe “I’ve just got to have that “whatever”; and most of us have felt hysterical or upset because someone didn’t agree with us or give us what we wanted. If you have ever violated your values and ignored responsibilities to pursue an overpowering desire, then you understand the feeling of addiction.

 

Codependency frequently underlies addiction. A codependent person is someone whose core identity is undeveloped or unknown, and who maintains a false identity built from dependent attachments to external sources – a partner, a spouse, a boyfriend, family, appearances, work or rules. Codependency is essentially an addiction to security.

 

There are some common characteristics of addictive behaviors:

 

Depression is common in individuals with addictive behaviors

Low Self Esteem

Person hides the behavior

Person does not appear to have control as to when, how long, or how much he or she will continue the behavior

The person becomes obsessed with the object, person, activity or substance

The person will seek out the behavior even though they know it is causing harm with themselves and others

 

In therapy we work through many of these issues and study the family of origin because; depending on the individual; it is often helpful to understand how these behaviors originated. Other approaches include cognitive behavioral therapy, 12 step programs, and working extensively on building self esteem issues.

 

Individuals lacking in self esteem are likely to be very easily influenced by their environment or attracted to addictions. If the environment is perceived as unfavorable, their self esteem is lowered. Individuals with high self esteem are less influenced by the environment. They feel that they can master the environment and, thus, their self esteem is relatively stable. We are members of the National Council of Self Esteem and are committed to promoting a healthy self esteem in the community and individuals. This work goes hand-in-hand with overcoming addictions and attaining a healthier sense of self.