On Again/Off Again Relationships
Why do couples repeat the cycle several times of on and off before breaking things off permanently? When couples are faced with loneliness and low self esteem that accompany a break-up, they continually fall back on the temporary relief of reconciliation.
Couples continue to reunite out of persistent hope that the moments of happiness they have known will someday constitute the entire relationship. We begin to accept and find new ways of dealing with our partners shortcomings and overlook the original reasons for the break-up. Another reason for getting back together is the time invested in the relationship. After spending so much time and energy with someone it can be hard to accept that your efforts were a waste of your time. You question whether it’s worth starting all over again with someone new and instead accept what you already have.
Self esteem is at the root of this decision. Feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, inability to make new friends/partners often play a big role in whether you stay or leave the relationship. Ask yourself are you staying because you are in love with this person and how they are treating you or you fear moving on to the unknown?
If deep down inside you know that the relationship isn’t right, then get out. It’s easier said than done and it takes time to heal. Change the focus. Concentrate on working on your self esteem, surround yourself amongst friends, join a gym, seek professional help. Thinking you can change your partners worst habits, is wishful thinking… what you see, is what you get.