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When Adult Children Move Back Home

Multi-generational family

Covid-19 pandemic put more generations under the same roof, and more parents are now helping their adult children financially. Young adults are returning to their parents’ homes due to disruptions in their jobs, closures at colleges, and change in living arrangements and health brought on by the pandemic.

No one expected Covid-19. Many parents were living the empty nest days when suddenly the pandemic changed our lives and our children’s quality of life. In some cases, adult children moved back home with their families as they strive to get themselves back on their feet and seek employment and affordable housing arrangements.

Living with adult children can be a challenge for everyone in the family. Communication is a key component to living under the same roof. It may be your house, but your adult children are no longer under your supervision. You may want to have a discussion regarding issues of whether they will be paying for their own groceries, contributing rent and or other household bills. Setting rules may not be age appropriate as opposed to establishing clear boundaries and expectations.

It’s important to remember that both sides have been affected by Covid and this is a brand new experience for both. It is a difficult time and as parents we want to help them get back on track.

It is also important to be mindful that as parents we do not become overbearing or judgmental to our children. We must give them a sense of independence however, we also do not want to make them completely comfortable so that they do not get out there and explore other options and delay their launching process. It is a balancing act and one that requires realistic expectations. Be mindful with how much you are accommodating your adult children/families. Do not fall into the trap of feeling sorry for them and therefore go above and beyond in serving them and taking on their responsibilities. It is appropriate to expect them to participate with chores and to help maintain the household.

Communication is the key to living with adult children. Be open and honest and talk freely how this experience has affected them and you. Allow space for yourself and set up a place that you can find some quiet time. It is a stressful time for all especially if you are working from home and now have additional people in your home. Remember that this is a temporary arrangement. It is not permanent.

At The Hellenic Therapy Center, 567 Park Avenue, Scotch Plains, New Jersey we specialize in working with families. Call us at 908-322-0112. We are currently offering zoom for face time sessions.


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