Learning that your partner has cheated on you is one of the worst betrayals you can experience. Finding out about this betrayal during the holiday season is even more devastating especially when there are children involved. How can one cope with such a betrayal when the holiday season is geared toward all kinds of festivities with family involvement and gatherings?
How to cope with such shocking news can be difficult to comprehend. It is easy to lose the concept of who you are, and what you had and it can bring out fear in what your life will look like moving forward.
For adults, the top three most stressful life events and their “Life Change Unit” scores as follows:
Death of a spouse ( or child ) 100
Marital separation 65
Death of a spouse and divorce/separation are amongst the highest stressors. Be cognizant that this is not a time to make any major decisions because of hurt, pain or betrayal. Trying to keep the family intact and “pretending” when you have discovered the news of an impending divorce or infidelity is stressful enough in itself. Holiday time is not the best time to inform the family and children. Remember that you are quite raw at this time and certain things that you say or do may not benefit anyone. If you are hosting:
Take the appropriate time that you need for yourself;
Assign tasks to others;
Ask for help and inform others that you may not be feeling the greatest;
Lower your expectations about the holiday;
Go for a walk;
Call your therapist;
Your needs are just as important as your family members and you will function more effectively if you can manage yourself first.
Trying to keep this together for the sake of the children, will be one of the most challenging things you will ever have to do. Be good to yourself and take the time you need.
At the Hellenic Therapy Center, 567 Park Avenue, Scotch Plains, New Jersey, we have a team of licensed professionals available day, evening and weekend hours. Call us at 908-322-0112 or visit us at www.hellenictherapy.com or on FB