When Camp Isn't Going as Planned

For many families, sleepaway camp is a rite of passage—a chance for children to gain independence, make lifelong friendships, and create memories they'll cherish for years. Parents spend weeks preparing, shopping for camp essentials, labeling clothes, and reassuring nervous children that everything will be okay.

Then comes the phone call every parent dreads. "Mom...Dad...I want to come home."

Your heart sinks. Every instinct tells you to pack the car and bring your child home immediately. Or perhaps you feel the opposite—you believe they need to "tough it out" because leaving would teach them to give up too easily. The truth is, neither response should be automatic.

The first step is to understand why your child wants to come home.

For many campers, especially those attending for the first time, homesickness is a completely normal part of the adjustment process. They miss familiar routines, their own bed, family dinners, siblings, pets, and the comfort of home. Those feelings can be intense, but they are often temporary. Many children who struggle during the first few days eventually settle in and end up having one of the best experiences of their lives.

But not every child is simply homesick. Sometimes a child feels excluded from the group, has difficulty connecting with cabinmates, or is overwhelmed by the unfamiliar environment. In other cases, there may be more serious concerns, such as bullying, persistent anxiety, or situations that leave them feeling emotionally or physically unsafe.

As parents, our challenge is figuring out the difference

Rather than immediately offering reassurance or solutions, begin by listening. Ask open-ended questions that encourage your child to tell their story.

It is also helpful to communicate with camp staff. Counselors have experience recognizing the difference between typical homesickness and more significant concerns. They can often tell you whether your child is participating in activities, eating, sleeping, interacting with others, and gradually adjusting.

If your child is safe and simply struggling with the discomfort of being away from home, it may be appropriate to encourage them to stay a little longer. Learning to work through manageable challenges builds confidence, resilience, and a sense of accomplishment that children carry with them long after camp has ended.

However, if your child describes ongoing bullying, repeated isolation, severe emotional distress, or anything that compromises their well-being, those concerns should never be minimized. Children need to know that while we encourage perseverance, we will also protect them when something isn't right.

When to push through and when to step in for a child away at camp.

One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing when to encourage a child to push through discomfort and when to step in. There isn't a universal answer because every child—and every situation—is different.

There isn't a universal answer because every child—and every situation—is different. Instead of asking, "Should I make them stay?" consider asking, "What does my child need from me right now?"

Sometimes they need confidence borrowed from you until they find their own. They need to hear, "I know this is hard, and I believe you can do hard things."

Other times, they need to know you are listening carefully, taking their concerns seriously, and willing to advocate for them if necessary.

Children grow through challenge, but they also grow when they know they have a safe place to land. The goal isn't to eliminate every uncomfortable experience. It's to help our children learn the difference between temporary discomfort that leads to growth and situations where asking for help is the strongest thing they can do.

If your child is struggling with anxiety, adjustment difficulties, or other emotional challenges, Hellenic Therapy Center, 567 Park Avenue, Scotch Plains is here to help. We work with children, adolescents, and families to build resilience, strengthen coping skills, and navigate life's transitions with confidence. Visit us @www.hellenictherapy.com or call us at 908-322-0112.